I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
