youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
