I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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