she smelled like a LAN party
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize