I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
