I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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