whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
