I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
