can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
