And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
