forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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