and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
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I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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