drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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