the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize