3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
