Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
