I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
