I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
