??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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