Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
