Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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