Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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i dedicated my morning wood to you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
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