I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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