There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think my fart just growled at me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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