I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
