Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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