i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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