its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
