Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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