we have officially lost it.
You can't motorboat a personality
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
honey bunches of taint.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
how drunk are you?
Several
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
