I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
