I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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