I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
