ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
