How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
