You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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