Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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