And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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