Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
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