So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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