you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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