My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
