Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
