so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
