Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
