OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
