CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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