I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it glows. i had to have it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Found your dick twin last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
