I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
sex in a hospital.. check
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
