The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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