Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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