And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
