So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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