So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
