I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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