You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
