PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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