Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
