How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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