come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
