ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
