I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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