Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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