let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
