hell yes lets make some ravioli
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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