Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
