Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
